How to Deal with Doubtcomes

Taking Action When You're Not Confident You Can Succeed

One of the most robust and best-tested theories of human behavior is self-efficacy theory. Basically, it asserts that one of the best predictors of what you will do is what you think you can succeed at.

In other words, self-confidence in your ability to take specific actions to get specific results. If you’re sure that you can do something, and it’s something you want do, you’ll probably do it.

The trouble is, with the things that really matter to us, we aren’t sure. By definition. We don’t know if they’re gonna work — because if we knew they were gonna work, they wouldn’t be that important to us. We’d focus on other stuff.

These days, a lot of things that really matter to me are pretty much up in the air. Democracy. Freedom. Justice. Peace. Human Rights. A planet that supports human life.

I’m not confident that any of these will prevail in my lifetime.

And I’m even less confident in my own ability to contribute to this work.

And as self efficacy theory tells us, that means I’m less likely to make the effort required to have the best shot at success.

Which is a problem, because nothing ventured, nothing gained. You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. And so on.

So what can we substitute for self efficacy in the face of “doubtcome”?

I can think of three c-words: commitment, courage, and curiosity.

Commitment

When I’m committed, the probability of the outcome isn’t an issue. My longing for peace, or love, or kindness, or justice, or relief of suffering, is enough to get to me to act, and to continue acting.

My commitment makes my fear of failure irrelevant.

Courage

Because the outcome isn’t a foregone conclusion, the possibility of failure makes courage necessarily.

Courage takes the fear and turns it into a challenge. The greater the fear, the more courage I get to muster as I act.

Curiosity

There’s curiosity about what will happen, but that’s secondary to the curiosity I experience when I put myself in challenging situations that call for more than I’ve ever done before.

I get to wonder about — and discover — the limits of my commitment and my courage.

Collective Support

So far I’ve been writing about self-efficacy from an individual perspective. But of course, all worthwhile endeavors are team sports. Even solo athletes like tennis stars thank their teams after winning a tournament.

And commitment, courage, and curiosity are all nourished by the people around us.

In the absence of self-efficacy, we all stumble and fall. But when we’re part of a team, a community, a movement — we can be strong when others weaken, and vice versa. We can pick each other up and keep moving forward together.

Your Turn

What are your big “doubtcomes” — the things you want to happen, but aren’t confident in?

What are you willing to commit? What reserves of courage can you draw upon? What are you burning to know about yourself as you rise to the occasion?

And who are the teammates you want by your side as you take up the challenge?